So where've I been?

I made a fundamental mistake that I should have remembered from trying to keep a travel diary. I made notes on "things to blog" on a few different Fridays at B&N, and then thought I had to get them all written and down, in order, before I could start any new posts.

Isn't that dumb?

Blogging isn't homework. You can't give yourself the assignment of getting everything down, in detail, in order, because you spend too much time doing the stuff to be able to fit in the recording of the stuff.

So, stuff that. Here I am back, and if you missed something things I thought but didn't get down, oh well, they're still scribbled in a notebook and will form part of my archive of collected papers when I die.

Here are some scattered things that occur to me tonight, reviving the old tradition of the Festival of the Bullet Point:

• The grass has been such an intense, ridiculous emerald colour that I understand why there's a town just south and west of here called Spring Green.
• The fact that the daffodils don't come out until it's almost my birthday makes me angry. Summer is too late. Summer will be too short. I'm sure I will get used to it, but I wasn't prepared, and it's having a bigger impact that I imagined it would.
• In contrast, it's only 50 degrees but everyone at work has switched to T-shirts and sandals. It's too early! I don't have any of those kind of clothes, and I'm used to wearing sweaters all year to work. So, one more wardrobe refreshment, pending.
• I got a message from my favorite person back home but have to get a video camera, microphone and headphones to talk to him. So, hopefully tomorrow. I wish I looked and sounded better - had a week or two of feeling in the zone and on my game, there, but it has lapsed and now I feel bedraggled and not on my game.
• I was imagining posting a post titled "Maximum Security Prison" a few days ago, because what with work and money and having to run a household, every spare minute and quite a few that aren't spare are scheduled and taken up, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to get around or out of them. Feeling very overburdened and defeated. I supposed that's continuing but I'm trying to continue to find things to be grateful for.
• Knitting, I'm at the heel part of the sock, and you have to concentrate, and I don't have a table, so I'm blocked. I hate this stage of redecorating too, just can't seem to make any progress at all. Everything is a priority so nothing is. Time is my enemy.

See? I keep thinking of other things to put in the bullet points, and then I think, "No, that's dumb. No, that's a wrong thing to think. No, that's easy to solve, don't complain about that." In a defeated, weary and somewhat beaten down mood. I know how to solve this. Just do the next right thing. I've had fun recently. Just not much fun tonight.

But anyway, I'm back, I've karmically dropped the class for which all that blog homework was due, and so I can just start from now, and write what I write, and if there's a gap, oh well. Should treat it like a flowing conversation - if it was important, I'm sure it will come back up and we'll get to it as a topic later.

Bloggers, don't write lists of things to blog about! Don't be a slave to the "oughts"! Just blog!

E