So I still haven't sorted out a new exercise regime, but set the alarm early this morning nonetheless. Alarms, actually - since it's now really super dark when I wake up in the morning, the earth having turned on its axis quite far away from the sun being as I live in Wisconsin (and it will get worse before it gets better, bring on the solstice...), I needed to go back to the technique I was using when I moved here, which was to set one alarm near the bed and then set my phone alarm for five minutes later and leave it in the living room. I therefore had to get up, actually out of bed, and walk a fair distance to make the annoying noise stop, and if I just stayed upright I could get ready and be at work on time.
So I did that this morning but hadn't made a firm decision on a gym to go to, sat around watching CNN as if it was crucial that I catch up on all the stories, and then did finally get myself to go along to the little gym at my apartment complex. Only had to put a sports bra on under the pj's, and some shoes, basically, so it was pretty low commitment. Did a basic sort of routine with some cardio and some - light, low reps - hand weights. A nice old lady came in about half-way, and asked if I was done with the treadmill but then got on the bike and didn't want the treadmill until I was back on it doing intervals. She was superciliously polite about it - "I don't want to interrupt you at all, I can go and do something else for a while" - but I was definitely an intruder on her personal morning exercise. Next time I should go to one of my gyms, where there are enough treadmills for everyone so you aren't in anyone's way. But still. Got it done. Even got red in the face and felt like I had exerted some energy.
Astrobarry has told me that this week I need to stop worrying about all my crushes and social life and get some work done (with vague threats about regretting it soon if I don't). So I've been following his advice - keeping the TV turned off, not coming in to see what's new on my Facebook homepage since five minutes ago when I last checked. Instead just getting on with a task that qualifies more as "work". At my day job, I was doing this today as well, and got lots of stuff done - a horrible PowerPoint presentation that I don't want to do in the first place and is on it's about 6th revision, plus routing lots of approvals and image files and data files for various smaller projects. Plus some high-level schmoozing to see if they will create for me the job I want in the new structure (closer to it all the time, and there are so many positive opportunities that I'm willing to hang out for a while doing a non-perfect job until it all comes together).
This evening went, as I do every month, with a friend from work to this month's film in the international film series. This was a slow but very beautiful film from Singapore called Be With Me. It was very slow and deliberate and quiet, which made it hard to gracefully eat the pizza we'd ordered (it's one of those cinemas where they bring you drinks and food and there are tables in front of all the seats). He was quite affected by it, and didn't want to talk about it or do any analysis afterward. Once again I regretted that we're not allowed to touch anyone that we know from work, because the boy looked like he needed a hug.
I ripped all my recent acquisitions over the weekend in aid of the soundtrack for the party (which went okay, by the way, nine people out of 40 invited, but everyone had a nice time, the only sort of drag thing was that unlike my two birthday parties in Sydney not one boy was hanging around at the end hoping I'd invite him home to spend the night with me - but I guess you can't have fans like that all the time - but still, I had to clean everything up and drag stuff back to my house all by myself. Even a friend or family member would stay with you until everything was cleaned up, but here I don't have one of those - yet). So I've been listening to the iPod in the car instead of the CDs, and it does have poorer sound quality, but it's nice to be able to forward and pick different things on the fly (literally - clicking up through the menus to get the setting off "shuffle songs" while going nearly 70 mph). I'm still completely obsessed with the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, have I mentioned that before? And so now I can click easily back and forth from their early, more straightforwardly psychedelic work on the album "B.R.M.C." to the similarly atmospheric but more accessible song structures of "Take Them On, On Your Own". The two songs that especially interest me in their similarities are "Whatever Happened To (Rock and Roll)" and very grand song that comes last on "TTOOYO" that makes the whole album listening experience have a crescendo and denouement like the very best constructed Aristotelean dramas (am I going on a bit now), the song "Heart + Soul". The later one, Heart + Soul, has similar rhythm in the guitars but so much more going on musically. The boys actually get better as they go along - but there are songs on every album that just thoroughly take my breath away. Not to mention how Mr Peter Hayes looks at :43 seconds in the video for Berlin. Sigh.
So B.R.M.C. is helping me as an outlet for these moony romantic feelings that have sort of been haunting me lately. When I have grand, oceany emotions to feel, they provide the music for it, and a safe target so I don't end up with irresponsible crushes on innocent bystanders and passersby. Being prone to moony romantic feelings is a bit of a liability in life. But it's the kind of thing one can learn to control, with patience and discipline.
Right, Barry. Back to work.
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