Dilettante

I was talking to my Mom on the phone tonight. I've been feeling generally blocked about a number of projects, and as she was asking about some past but currently faded enthusiasms, I started talking about that process of starting out with grand plans, but then losing interest, getting distracted, eventually hitting a wall and dropping the pursuit altogether for some shinier alternative.

It was like this with knitting. Last year I started on a plainish scarf (huge needles, huge yarn, a simple 3x3 rib pattern) and found that the basics came easily to me. (I even caused Mom to cry out, "I'm so proud of you!", from that scarf - how often does that happen in life?) I signed up for a class, went to a weekend conference, got all excited, envisioned myself learning to do that complicated Norwegian knitting with lots of colors, imagined going around the country to all the events, getting to be a nationally recognized expert. "But first you have to finish your second sock," said Mom tonight. Right. My first sock doesn't have a toe in it, so actually that's first, then the second sock, then world domination.

The latest enthusiasm is the guitar, and it's going well too - because of my background of childhood music lessons and previous experience at stringed instrument playing, I am picking it up really quickly and my teacher has been expressing amazement. I will do anything for praise, so I'm trying to keep up with the practice, but I'm worried that this passion will wane as well, and become this year's knitting. If I stop now, in ten years I might be able to pick out "Louie Louie", but I certainly won't have quit my day job to become a touring session musician.

Looking back over my life, the list is long. Japanese lessons, aikido, pottery class, opera fandom. I start out well, I have a knack for it, I pick it up quickly. I envision reaching the highest heights and having it be a major part of my life. In a few months it fades, I put the books away or the gi in the bottom drawer, it's on to the next thing.

Back to guitar - I talked to Mom about my outsized ambitions and she said, "To do that you have to practice a lot." That's right. It's simple, isn't it. The enthusiasm vs the wall, and the fading interest and the dropping and moving on, happens at the point that is as far as talent can take you. You can get that far on talent, and then after that is hard work.

(I'm sure I have a copy of a quote somewhere that says just this, it must be in that Andrew Johns DVD....)