Girl Needs a Hug

Remember only a very few short days ago when I was rhapsodizing about my wise boss? How he offered to coach me not to try to do everyone else's job so I don't end up killing myself? And all of a sudden I felt loved and supported and safe at work?

Yeah. Yesterday he called a special meeting of all of his direct reports, a mysterious meeting with no agenda, no subject in the meeting notice. Gathered us all together, and told us he's resigning. He told us the whole thought process, starting a year ago when he starting thinking about what his next career move would be, and going through all the different considerations of family, place to live, opportunity, what he's leaving behind, etc. This was all to support what he said first, that he's not leaving because of anything at our company, he's only going because it's a great opportunity, and it's the right time in his own personal life to make this kind of change. Because of all the detail, I completely believe him, and I'm grateful that he shared so much with us.

But today, suffering the slings and arrows of all the politics and toxic personalities around the office, and worried sick about my big project and whether I'll be able to bring it off or not, I started feeling very sad. Like a little kid who misses a parent, like a kid just off to college for the first time. Abandoned. Orphaned. I wonder who my coach will be. I really need someone at work who I can go to when I feel insecure and vulnerable, I need some safe arena where I don't have to keep up the professional front and broadcast only good news and "wins". Who will that be?

Maybe I should start looking around and recruiting someone now. Maybe someone not in a direct reporting line?

Anyway, so what I did was take myself to the Starbucks at the Barnes & Noble, my happy place, and I had a tall soy chai and she didn't even ask me if I wanted a larger size (trainee), and I didn't even read anything, I just looked out the window, felt sad about my boss, had arguments with toxic co-workers in my head, and chilled out enough to be able to go back to the office, knock over a few tasks, and realize the ones I couldn't do were not my fault.

Still, it would be good to have a hug.