Thinking about what I'm looking for in a partner (after filling in the extensive, time-consuming survey on eHarmony and getting no matches at all). I know exactly what I'm looking for in a partner. As I live my life I can detect the husband-shaped hole in it, and I know its contours exactly. I want a man to shovel my driveway. I want a man to put his arms around me in the evening when I come home from a rough day at work and say, "Don't worry, you are smart and capable and I love you." And when I have too many things to do and get confused, I want a man who listens patiently, frowning slightly with concentration, and then can tell me which three things I actually need to do today, which things I can delegate, and which I don't even have to worry about doing. See? Easy.
The thing that puzzles me is, what would a man ever want a woman for? I suppose I have a history of pining after self-contained loner types who don't express any neediness, much less affection for me, and I have a recent history of the love of my life deciding he specifically didn't need exactly me any more (the Ellen-shaped hole in his life had somehow filled in so I was no longer needed), so that might explain it. But if you think of the above described gaps, what a woman is, what she contributes to a relationship, is to be weak, soft, emotionally needy and with a confused brain. Who would ever want that in a life partner? Who would need something like that to complete them?
I'm sure I'm missing something here, about the whole equation. I'd love for some man to tell me what it is, though.
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