Firsts, moving and shore birds

Lots of firsts today.

Biggest one, of course, is, I brought home my New Car! It's sitting glistening and sporty in the garage right now. I'm signed on for five years of payments, which feels all a bit permanent, but, God bless Badger Globe for taking a chance on me and loaning me the money.

Other one - coldest experienced temperatures so far. This morning, pre-dawn, the news said it was 9 degrees in Appleton, so I rushed out on the balcony to see what it was like. The temperature during the day was rumored to amount to 15 degrees, with the wind chill - about 29 degrees really, I think it was - and on my trip to Badger Globe to get the check for the car the air actually hurt my face. And to think we have 20-30 degrees left to go. My Antarctic sister assures me you can still feel the difference, even down to 50 below.

The other first I just noticed is that the pond outside is starting to freeze over! The geese all took off about two days ago. They must have known. I guess today it was below freezing all day, and "freezing" means the freezing point of water, right? So, of course the pond is freezing. But it's startling, nonetheless!

p.s. Official high temperature on the nightly news was 21 in Appleton. 18 at the moment.

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While at the car dealer waiting for the finance guy to get the receipt for my check, I was thinking about moving. Usually after somebody moves they have the strong feeling, "I never want to move ever again." A moving hangover. While sitting there in the midst of one of the most complicated aspects of moving, I noticed that I don't have this feeling. What I felt instead was, moving is what I do. Maybe I have this feeling because I have been moving more or less permanently for nearly six months. Now it is what I do - I can completely imagine spending the rest of my life signing contracts and opening accounts and getting new PIN numbers, signing my name to things, not quite having all the correct documentation in place, getting lost on the way to work and having that surreal experience of trying to work out what direction you're even going by where the sun is - one minute on well-marked and familiar roads in an orderly grid, the next minute out in the country among unfamiliar barns.

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I'm going to drive for an hour on snowy roads Thurs. night to go meet a friendly stranger, the daughter of someone I met at my cousin's house. But at this stage you accept all invitations. I was thinking about what I'll say when she asks any questions about me, and I don't know how I'll answer. I'm not anybody yet.

I have a past and I can tell stories about her but I kind of released her when I got here.

I feel like a creature high up on spindly legs. A shore bird. Not grounded, spindly tendrils reaching down from my spindly and insubstantial body, but not grounded.

Shore birds have spindly legs so they can walk through the mud. And nonetheless gain nutrition.

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You can tell the pond has frozen over because it stops moving.