Intervals are my favorite mood-altering drug

So I still haven't sorted things out vis-a-vis the trainer situation. After the last junior one, cannon-fodder staff at my gym, disappeared as they do, the manager assigned me to someone more qualified, but he turned out to be a crazy lunatic. And quit as well, like two weeks later. He had spent the whole session with me obsessing about how much he hated the manager guy and disagreed with his training methods, and once he left I'd just had enough of the psycho-drama and stopped going altogether. Also, he pushed me so extremely hard that I would reach "failure" on like the second repetition, rather than like the second-last one which is how you're supposed to do it. But then, I was getting results. All my clothes were too big, and I was certainly feeling stronger.

Then the work stuff blew up - I learned about the opportunity for my new position (see posts below) and was trying to lay groundwork for those projects, while still trying to do my current job, get financial stuff and performance review stuff done for end of year and planning stuff in place for next year, and live with everyone's angst about the uncertainty of our futures.

(As it turns out, I heard about my future on Friday of last week, and immediately everyone went on vacation for Thanksgiving week so I haven't had a chance to debrief about any of it with anyone. I did get the job I wanted, but for a whole different set of brands, in a different building, with all different brand managers. So it's like a whole new job for a different company, nearly, and I'm now thinking it will take me 12 months to get established to this degree again and keep working on the stuff I intended to do right away in the new gig.)

The first day of my vacation I sat very still and watched TV all day - slowed my metabolic system way down like a lizard in the freezer. The next day did not much more. Monday had to do a bunch of work stuff, and Tuesday finished work stuff in the morning and then took a huge nap. Was feeling somewhat unwell - achy everywhere, and stomach ache, and like I might be getting a cold. (And old. I keep trying to look in the mirror and smile or turn my head in a particular way, or think maybe I just need to rest more or eat better, but actually the lush youthful look I'm trying to recreate in the mirror is probably not gonna ever come back. The skin is losing elasticity, the eyes have creases around them, the skin is getting that grey cast that I find so revolting when I notice it on men of a certain age, I'm just getting old, and there's nothing a girl can do about it. Rats.)

Anyway, also during this whole period I have been trying to work out what to do about the exercise stuff. I had too many options:

• Go back to the work gym, in the mornings
• Go to the work gym in the evening
• Find another trainer at the work gym
• Ask for another trainer at the other gym
• Go back to the other gym without a trainer, mornings
• Go back to the other gym without a trainer, evenings
• Just use the little gym at my apartment complex, morning or evening
• Try another gym, other trainers, another sport altogether
• Just run on the road or something

Every weekend I would vow that this week I would absolutely get up early on Monday and Wednesday, at least, and just do something, just some regular routine, just to be doing something, but it never worked.

And so this week, after my reptilian weekend of sitting very still and being achy all over, I was starting to feel truly bad from not exercising properly for so long. Because the last guy was sooo intense, too, it was like bingeing - from ultra-fit, ultra-pushing-myself, rapid-results, to puffed out, weak, sore discouraged sloth. Time for action.

Finally, today, Wednesday of my week off, I got myself to my old gym. There wasn't anyone there I recognized except the sales guy - tells you something, doesn't it, he's successful, it's just that what he's selling is completely unstable and imaginary - and I did a circuit of basic weight machines, but then I did the magic thing that has made everything okay again.

Intervals!

I get on the treadmill and set it to 80 seconds of 3mph and 80 seconds of 5mph (for which I have to run), for 20 minutes. I heard from one of those trainers along the way that this is the best way to burn calories, because you keep burning them for a while after you stop. I made it through my whole 20 minutes - red in the race, breathing hard on the last one, but legs felt strong and I felt really good that I was pushing through and accomplishing something challenging.

The feeling lasted all day when I was out shopping, and is still kind of with me now, although I did fade with tiredness at about 3pm and had to rest at a Starbucks, and now I'm still achy and still have creases and circles (I don't think there's enough resting in the world to rest from the work stuff that's been going on, so I will just have to run resting, for the next few months).

Aerobic exercise is one of the most powerful mood-altering drugs that there is. I hope the optimism that today's long-overdue trip to the gym has instilled will remind me to keep doing it, and get over the block I've had.